how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
