Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
