Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
