rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize
