I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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