Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
