either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
