I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
