If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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