respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
