Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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