his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize