If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
