OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
