I got chris browned last night
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
