I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
