his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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