She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
