I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize