Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
