tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
