My Higher Power is John Stamos
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
My vagina is very pro this idea
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
