i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
When did angry sex become our thing?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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