that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
