I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
