Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
