Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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