worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
