She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize