I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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