Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
