I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize