oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
