Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Randomize
