woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
