you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I need moral support for this bender
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
