Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
