using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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