Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
