Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
