Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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