I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
