ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
