Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
