They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
