Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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