You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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