I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
