Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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