Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
