So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
