it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
