I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
