just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
