"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
