i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
