id be glad to
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize
