There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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