alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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