i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
