every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
she looked like the before picture.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
