'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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