seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
