is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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