yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
What drink are we having for lunch?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Randomize
