You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize