Having a random hookup so left but love u
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
