I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Randomize