you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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