When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Randomize