I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
