what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
