she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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