the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
