I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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