i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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