We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
