Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize