this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
